Friday, July 8, 2011


To forgive is indeed the best form of self-interest since anger, resentment, and revenge are corrosive of that "summum bonum," the greatest good” by Bishop Desmond Tutu.

Anger is the topic of the post on the blog ‘Thought for the day’ today. I know that a lot of people suffer from this feeling and they also cause to suffer other people who are around them. All negative emotions when left uncontrolled cause a lot of damage both to the person who is carrying the emotion and to those who become the objects of the implementation of the emotion. I am sure that the reason for such a high number of people who experience pangs of hatred is due to the fact that most people do not understand where the anger comes from and how to deal with it. 

How does anger come?


There are a lot of reasons why people get angry. Most often it comes from dissatisfaction about their lives. When you are unhappy about your life and its circumstances you will definitely feel anger. When something does not happen according to your plans and expectations you will often experience this feeling too. If the person has heard (and continues hearing) a lot of negative and bad words about himself, he will probably suffer from the negative emotion a lot more than the one who heard a lot of positive things about himself from childhood. I myself have suffered from the feeling a lot and as far as I see these three causes are most usual ones for the arousal of the emotion. 

When we look around and we see that other people have more things, achieved greater things and we see them happy and then we compare ourselves to them and the fact is clear that we have less and we have achieved less, this causes us to constantly feel nervous. A lot of things happen not as we have planned. It happens daily and if you are not able to admit the fact you will lose patience daily and will constantly walk with a feeling of petulance. If your father, mother or any other person were constantly saying bad words to you, it is not a big surprise if you often experience anger. 

Anger management


It's never what people do that make us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did” by Marshall Rosenberg.

I am sure that you have to stop comparing yourself with others (especially those who have achieved more) and constantly concentrating on what you do not have. Think on what you do have and maybe sometimes compare yourself to those who have less. This will give you a sense of gratitude and gratitude will take away discontent that is cause by ever present unhappiness caused by concentration on what is missing in your life. Learn to enjoy what you have. Your value does not depend on what you have or don’t have. You were created by God Almighty according to His image and likeness. That’s the measure of your value. Don’t you use other measures. They will only make you feel inferior and unhappy, and also angry.

Your attitude to what happens is more important than things which happen to you. Your reaction is the key. As I said, things that you have not planned happen and this can make you angry. But it only makes you angry if you see that as a bad thing. It is not bad in itself. You can find a way out of it. Try to see something good about it. Maybe it will turn out better than you have planned. Even if it won’t, it should not make you unhappy. Allow modifications to your plans or even a complete failure of them. Learn to react positively to it and you will learn how to get rid of your dissatisfaction.

If you heard and keep hearing a lot of negative words about yourself, you probably need to change your friends and find those that would be optimists and could say you something good daily. I would also encourage you read Bible daily. You will find out how great God’s love for you is. This will naturally take away your feeling of bitterness. His love gives deep inner satisfaction and irritation goes away unnoticed.
I hope you found something useful about anger management.

See also:


Positive attitude

Anger on Wikipedia